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About Literature / Student Member j.Female/United States Group :icongallaghergirlsschool: GallagherGirlsSchool
A Private School for Girl OCs!
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WARNING: CONTENT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO THOSE STRUGGLING WITH/RECOVERING FROM EATING DISORDERS, SELF HARM, OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

Please do not hesitate to note me if you have a problem with some of my work!

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(error 404: poem not found)

there is nothing to write about.
not today.

not when the sky is cloudy.
i can't make any more damn metaphors
about sadness and depression and you
and the color of your eyes, and the way
those eyes crinkle up when you smile.

there is nothing here about
the way my insecurities swallow up
everything else i have to offer, and
the way you are stuck to my thoughts
like glue.

no. sorry. nothing here.

not today.

(please try again later.)
error error error error error
this was totally meta

-J.
Loading...
two weeks ago, 
i brought home a mint plant
and a basil plant.

i placed them by the window
and watered them every day.

one week ago,
a family friend brought us
royal purple hydrangeas.

i placed them by the window
and watered them every day.

my mint plant thrives.
my basil plant flourishes.
my hydrangeas are still that beautiful shade
of royal purple that they came to me as.

it isn't spring
but i feel myself blooming.

the night no longer presses down on me,
looms over my thoughts like a raincloud,
pulling me out and into myself.

clenched fist
is opening;

hanging head
is lifting;

and life
is finally living.

note to self:

let your roots go:
dig into the earthy dark soil,
finding water and darkness and peace—

but let your petals bloom.
the sun is caring for you;
the rain will not drown you.

let yourself bleed.
let yourself feel.

this is life, darling,
and this is living:
the journey of a flower
from seed
to seed.
i never understood how food
was supposed to "trigger" me.
as if i was a gun, and suddenly
everything is flying out and i
can't stop it i can't stop it no
no no no all this hard work
not hurting myself, not hurting
others;

no.

it didn't work like that for me,
even when i was waist-deep
and still sinking in the arms of
my best friend. food was just
food. something to avoid.

other people could have it,
sure.
i didn't care.
i focused on myself.

over a year later i am scrolling:
endless scrolling,
down
down
down.

i tossed my hair back with a laugh
that meant nothing and threw myself
down down down the rabbit hole

you meant everything to me
i meant nothing to you

and that's exactly how i treated myself:
like nothing.

a picture
of something with with oreos.
looking like something that a
doe-eyed hipster would snap a picture of
with her polaroid, laugh with her friends,
flower crowns and indie music.

i flinched, pulling away from the screen.

get it away, she hissed,
suddenly all claws and 
what happened to my best friend?

i suddenly feel everything
crawling through my system.

i think i'm going to vomit.

i never want to eat again
, i think, 
and suddenly:

i understand.
when did i stop caring about myself?
a true story about triggers,
and how i found out what they are.

don't worry.
this event
occurred approximately five minutes ago.

-J.
Loading...

deviantID

The-Jelly-Princess
j.
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells..."

-T.S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"

call me j.
she/them pronouns
agender, asexual grayromantic

(secretly a flower fairy)

these people are cool
:iconstreamwhispers: :iconsophisticatedcleffa: :icongleekmaxride: :iconshelby2398: :iconallie-knight: :iconyourlittlestalker: :iconartemis62699:
Interests
so i figured that i should probably write one now :blush:

i've been getting a lot of new watchers lately (well, more than usual), so hello to all of you... out there... in the world...

i'm trying to improve and write a lot more this summer: all constructive criticism and ideas are very helpful and always welcome!

on a completely random side note, i'm quite excited for sophomore year: i'm going to be in a select choir and i'm skipping a level of theatre. :love: isn't that exciting? 

& finally, thanks to all of you out there that have been helping my audience expand and my writing get better ^__^

-J
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: Pompeii by Bastille
  • Drinking: Water

Journal History

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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student Writer
Happy birthday! I hope you have a fantastic day!

birthday cake 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxxsempit3rnalxx:
xxsempit3rnalxx Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student Writer
Happy Birthday! :heart: I hope you have a good day! Airborne 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconkwikdraw:
kwikdraw Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Nom nom... Happy Birthday, lovely! :cake:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsophisticatedcleffa:
SophisticatedCleffa Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014  Student Writer
Happy birthday,
Flower girl.

Have a good dayyyyyyyyyyyy ^3^
Reply
:icondemonicsymbolssuitme:
Thank you for the favorite!
Reply
:iconcookie-jam:
Cookie-Jam Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Student Writer
The way you write has me reminiscent for a feeling I'd never felt. :heart: :tighthug: You're really amazing. Great work, keep writing! Love from miles and miles away. :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbenraven:
benraven Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the llama!  :)
Reply
:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch. 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconstreamwhispers:
Streamwhispers Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ayyy samikins 

you should let me draw your teslapunk cuties almyra and gus

because sad ;n; 

sobs give me refERENCES PLS
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconvivafariy:
VivaFariy Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014
Congratulations for winning littleblueraccoon's Veiled Truth contest!
I have offered to give you 10 Points, a llama, 3 faves, and 3 constructive comments as a prize. I have given the points and llamas, but not yet the faves or comments.
1)They may take me time to get to, but I won't forget about them.
2) Are there any particular pieces you want me to look at?
Reply
(1 Reply)
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